The benefit of peer pressure

I grew up feeling like peer pressure was always negative. Don't fall to peer pressure and do drugs! Don't fall to peer pressure and drink! Don't fall to peer pressure and smoke! You don't have to wear/eat/do what your friends are wearing/eating/doing. If your friends jumped off a bridge, would you? Etc., etc. Now I do agree that peer pressure can be a very negative thing. Kids will pick up bad behaviors from their peers and will act differently in order to fit in...and it isn't always in a good situation. However, conforming to the group can be very positive in teaching kids new behaviors and reversing some of their negative ones. It is ingrained in us to follow those around us, and it starts early.

Take for instance this conversation that I was able to witness today between four little girls ages 2-5. My daughter, Kate, age 4, was one of these little girls. There was also S, age 5, A, age 3, and L, age 2. Notice how the younger girls' opinions changed regularly to conform to what the older girls wanted, and ultimately how they all decided on the same outcome.

Me: "Ok! Time for lunch! We're going to have cheese pizza, watermelon and grapes!"

K (while whining): "I don't LIKE pizza! I don't LIKE watermelon! I want a sandwich instead!!!"

A: "I want a sandwich!"

L: "I sandwich!"

S: "I LOVE pizza! Can I have a BIG piece?"

A: "I want big pizza!"

L: "I teetza!"

K: "Well, I don't like pizza. Pizza is gross!"

S: "Pizza isn't gross! It's yummy!"

K: "Ok, but not pepperoni pizza! Mommy, can I have pizza, but no pepperonis?"

Me: "Sure. Do you want grapes or watermelon?"

S: "Watermelon!! I love watermelon!"

A: "I want watermelon too!"

L: "Wawa melon!"

K (my non-conformist....): "I want grapes."

A: "I want grapes too."

L: "GWAPES!"

S: "I want grapes AND watermelon!"

After some time eating, everyone decided that they loved pizza and watermelon and grapes. All 4 kids ate all of their food and the whining had stopped. Kate has really been having a lot of attitude when it comes to eating lately, and it is driving me crazy. I know it is just a normal stage of her trying to assert her independence, but it is very frustrating when she takes he favorite food from the day before and then declares that it is gross and that she doesn't like it anymore. Add in a little peer pressure from 3 of her friends and she magically eats all of it without complaining.

Then there is the whole inclusion thing. What's the point of inclusion?? To have special needs kids be around and interact with typical kids. There is a definite benefit to the special needs kids, one of the most important being that they will strive to behave like typical kids. They will learn the social norms and what is expected of them. They talk with typical kids and become friends with those kids. In this instance, conforming to their peers is the the result for which we are striving. Andrew, especially, does not want to be any different than his peers. He was embarrassed to wear his leg braces to school with shorts until some kids told him they thought they were cool. He doesn't want to use a word processor to help with typing and worked hard to learn how to write over the summer because "nobody else uses one." He wanted to go in the front of the school like typical kids instead of the easier to access back entrance for special needs kids. He wants to be like his friends. We are trying our hardest to make him feel included, even if that means that we have to do things that are a little more difficult for us.

Now, we do emphasize that he needs to be his own person and that he needs to make good decisions regarding his behavior. Our hope for all of our children is that even while conforming to fit in that they will be strong-willed enough in their values and beliefs to not fall to peer pressure when the decisions are negative. Luckily, we have a few years before they are going to be really put to the test.

Bittersweet Transitions

My boys were put into a school that was not our assigned "home" school for preschool, Kindergarten and the first year of first grade because our home school did not have a self-contained class for special needs children. Even though they spent about half of their days in a regular class, they still needed a lot of time working on their IEP goals in the self-contained class. However, as the boys have gotten older, their needs have changed. This brings about happy, yet scary, transitions.

You see, Andrew was in a regular class for the majority of the day in his first year of first grade (although technically enrolled in the self-contained class) and was in a regular class his second year of first grade with pull-out resource. This made him flourish academically and socially. At his recent IEP meeting, it was decided that he would be losing speech and PT at school and would be cutting back significantly on his resource time. He is staying in a regular class and is spending more time there and less time with extra help!!! It's amazing! We were never sure if this would ever actually happen.

The problem: He no longer needs the services that exist at his current school and will have to be transferred back to his home school. Now that he doesn't need the special needs class, they can accommodate his needs.

However, Andrew has been embraced and accepted for who he is at his current school. He has friends and the teachers all know him. I am terrified that he won't be able to find that same level of acceptance at a different school because he will be starting over at an older age. A lot of the kids at his current school have known him or seen him around since he was 3 years old. We put in a transfer request, but even if it is accepted this year, there is absolutely no guarantee that they don't send him to our home school next year or in 3 years. What I don't want to happen is him to go to middle school with a whole new set of kids. Middle school is hard enough without adding extra issues onto it. Kids make fun of the kid who is just a little different in middle school.... what will happen to the kid in the wheelchair? So, the decision is that he will go now while the kids are still young enough to hopefully be less judgmental and more accepting.

We are nervous, but hopeful. After meeting with the resource teacher from his new school, I am encouraged that he will find a place there.

Andy at his field day where he won 2 first place ribbons...
while surrounded by his many friends and classmates.

LEGOS Education?? YES!

On a recent trip to our local LEGO store, there was a very knowledgeable sales person demonstrating a few sets from LEGO Education line. My first thought was, "LEGOs has an educational line?" The second thought was, "AWESOME! I have a little boy who loves LEGOs but hates a lot of traditional approaches to math."

One of the sets that was being demonstrated was the LEGO Duplo Numbers and Mosaics set. It has tiles that attach to 4 included Duplo plates and can be used for a variety of math concepts from number recognition all the way to simple division. There are also shape tiles (similar to tangrams) and design cards to work on geometry skills and visual motor skills. I just had to get this set. Even better was that it was on clearance because of overstock issues, so I got it for 50% off!

A few weeks passed and I completely forgot that I had bought the thing. Then, on one particularly infuriating morning where Ben could not stand math and was fighting me on every activity, I remembered them and decided to pull them out. Why didn't I do it sooner?!? He absolutely loves this set, and so does Kate! The only problem is that Ben also thinks that he can dictate exactly what we do during the lesson, which is an entirely different issue.

Ben insisting that he needed to put on the odd numbers.
He used the equal sign as 11 because he couldn't find more ones... BRILLIANT!
He mastered this skill 2 years ago, but hey, it's extra practice.

Since I have had them out, Ben is REALLY starting to grasp subtraction. He is now understanding that subtraction is the opposite of addition. Since it is motivating (he loves LEGOs) and pressure free (he has all of the fine motor skills necessary to be successful), he wants to do it.

Using the colored shapes to help with subtraction.
This is what we did the very first day.
He had an entirely different set of problems today without the aid of shapes.
It just happened to be the same subtraction problem in the pictures below.

Working the problem without pictures!

This is his "I did it" face. He figured it out!

Both Kate and Ben are loving making pictures using the shape tiles. They are getting their creativity flowing and thinking about the shapes needed to make a picture. This practice is especially good for Ben since he has always struggled with drawing and the visual skills needed to make a group of shapes look like something. 

Ben says this is "happy Ben" wearing a party hat.

Kate's lollipop.

Ben's train. He was excited that he made it himself.

Kate trying to figure out how to match the activity card.
This was very difficult for her to do without help, but she did do it.

The only negative to this set? My family room has looked like this almost non-stop for two days.

We get them picked up and out they get dumped again. I strive for organization and have thought about separating the numbers from the shapes...but I have a feeling that particular attempt at organization will be quickly undone and cause more frustration than necessary.

The LEGO education line has some other really neat sets that I can definitely see in our future. One of those is a robotics set. Since we are still working on the fine motor skills needed for the small LEGOs, I think we will hold off for now. However, my hubby has mentioned that he might just like them... for the boys of course...

Time to Tell Time!

Today, Benjamin began the telling time section of his math curriculum. We started simply with just telling time to the o'clock. I used a large-sized foam clock (thank-you Target dollar section) and talked about the big hand and the small hand. I also have found that writing "o'clock" at the top of the clock helps him to remember.

Ben really seemed to understand how to tell time to the hour when presented with the foam clock. So, off to the book work he went. He did great! The second book page had a mock-schedule for a little boy named Matthew. After reading about Matthew and what he does at different times, I decided that we needed to make Benjamin's schedule.

First, I printed out a blank clock worksheet from the internet. I also folded a piece of construction paper into sixths to create a box for each event.  I had Benjamin tell me what happens throughout the day and what times he does them at.  Ben drew the hands on the clocks to the times that events happen and then he glued them on the construction paper. I printed out the digital times that go with the analog times and he matched and pasted those correctly. Then, he dictated the sentences describing each time and I wrote them out for him. The result was a very cute Benjamin schedule.

He has been just a little obsessed with swimming since all of the pools are opening around here. He insisted that I needed to add swimming as his 12:00 event and that we were going to do that today. Unfortunately, we weren't able to go since his brother was home from school with a fever. That's when we got into a lesson about flexible scheduling...

Tomorrow, we are going to be working with telling time to the half hour. I am really hoping that he won't be confused since he did so incredibly well today with telling time to the hour. Here's hoping!

How Plants Grow!

We have been talking a lot about plants for science lately. The kids have helped me plant the garden and go with me daily to water things, look at what produce is growing, and to continue to discuss what plants need to grow.

One of the things that Benjamin is supposed to learn about in science this year is how a seed turns into a plant. I decided to get out the science textbook that I have so that I don't feel guilty about barely cracking it. He got through it, but I am positive that he didn't learn much and didn't really enjoy himself. So, I turned it into a hands-on project.

I decided to do the "seed in the plastic bag" project that I did probably about 10 times in my elementary school career. It is super duper easy and I am sure that almost everyone has done this one at some point. You take a plastic ziploc bag, place a folded, wet paper towel inside, place in a seed, seal it up, and then put it in a sunny place. Ours is taped to our back slider. In a few days, the roots started to come out. The kids were all super excited to see the roots appear on their seeds. Benjamin even said, "Next will come the stem, and then the leaves, and then it will be a plant!" So yeah, he definitely gets it now. You can transplant them in theory once they grow a little bigger and you see all of the stages of growth, but I have found that mine tend to get moldy before they get transplanted. Oh well!




















I also found some great hands-on activities at the Smart Start Resource Center and used them to follow up on the project. There were two puzzles and a stamp set that had the different stages of growth. We did the puzzles as we were "planting" our seeds in the plastic bags. I will bring it out again as our seeds hit each stage.

To check comprehension, Ben and Kate each made a plant growth timeline using the stamps. Then, they told me what was happening at that stage and I wrote the title for them. Both of them wrote the title of the project as extra writing practice. For this project, I just took a regular piece of construction paper, folded it in half "long ways" and then folded into thirds. That gave enough boxes for each stage and then one for the title. The kids really had fun with the stamps. Here they are!

Speaking of Field Trips

Speaking of field trips, we went on our last "real" field trip of the school year. The kids, grandma and I all went to the zoo. It was a ton of fun! We have been learning a lot about different zoo animals, so it was great to see them in real life and in action.

While there, we got to feed the giraffes. The kids found the super crazy giraffe tongues to be very silly. Totally worth the cost of $2 for lettuce... even though I could buy an entire bag of lettuce for about the same price.

We also fed and held lorikeets. If you do this at your zoo or aquarium, be careful... one of the lorikeets was mean and nipped at my hand when I tried to feed it the nectar. I maturely said to this bird, "Fine! Be that way! I'll give the nectar to a bird who deserves it!" This little birdie definitely deserved it. Look how sweet Kate looks with the bird on her arm.

I also decided on our science unit for the summer... ocean animals. The kids all LOVED the small aquarium at the zoo and have enjoyed learning about these amazing creatures in the past. I figured summer will be a perfect time for this unit. The fact that I wanted to be a marine biologist for most of my life has NOTHING to do with this decision... I swear....

And finally, the best picture taken of the day... three little monkeys sitting on a bench....

Homeschooling FAIL

I recently read a homeschooling blog about a mom who feels like she is failing at her job. She feels inadequate compared to the "perfect" homeschooling moms who take their kids on countless field trips and do lots of hands-on experiments. Well, let me share how I feel. As THAT mom who loves to take the kids on field trips and loves to do hands-on experiments (but definitely NOT perfect), I feel inadequate compared to the mom who can get all of the seat work that she has planned for the week done. Every homeschooling mom has a different style and every kid learns differently. Let me share my own "inadequacies" and how I have gotten over them.

1. I use field trips as an excuse to NOT do seat work. You heard me... sometimes I use field trips so that I don't have to do the stuff that I find boring and monotonous. You know what though? I have seen my son and daughter learn so much from field trips, that I really feel that its ok and a good break. Sometimes, my field trips are walks to the park so that we can use our senses to discover the world around us, the store to learn about how to spend lots of money, the pet store to talk about the animals we see, and sometimes they are trips to the children's museum or the zoo. The point is to get out of the freakin' house!! I am not a homebody and cannot stand to "home" school every day of the week. I wish I could be okay with spending more time at home working on seat work. I have high expectations for myself and for what Ben needs to finish in this year and I sometimes feel like a failure because not everything that I set for him will be done. Of course, he has more than achieved most of the original life/learning goals I set for him, but that stupid math book won't be finished! Let it go, let it go....
2. I do hands-on experiments to teach about science because I am too tired/unmotivated to make a lesson plan that follows the text. Maybe it is my teacher education coming out, but I would much much rather have my kids work with me in the garden for 20 minutes than read about gardening for 20 minutes. Plus, I decided to watch, "Grey's Anatomy" or "The Big Bang Theory" last night instead of doing a lesson plan. I need to fit science in somehow... let's plant some seeds, put water on them, and watch what happens... oh and draw pictures about them in our observation notebook. I glance at the textbook, see "learn how plants grow" and "learn parts of the plants" and then shoo my kids outside to go look at trees in our backyard.
3. I sometimes use candy as counters for math because my son HATES math and would rather be doing something else. Add some M&Ms, and voila! he does his math. Yes, it is bribery, but who cares? I ENVY the mom who hands their child the math worksheet only to have it completed within ten minutes. Neither one of my sons is that way and sometimes it takes me hours to get them to do their work. 
4. I deliberately rent thematic educational documentaries from Netflix for the mornings that I am just too tired or unmotivated to get going. Yes, even us "super hands-on moms" don't want to do anything sometimes. However, I am my son's primary teacher right now, so I need to make sure that the activities that he is doing count for something. For us, seat work is not an independent activity, but watching TV most definitely is. Watch a documentary on penguins or lions or dinosaur excavations and it counts as science.
5. I use computer games to teach subjects that I HATE teaching. For instance, spelling. I love to spell and am a natural speller. Benjamin hates spelling even though he is decent at it. I get easily frustrated teaching him how to spell and hate the traditional spelling list method. Enter "Hooked on Spelling" and it is no longer in my hands, but he is still learning how to spell. It's fun and thus he asks to play it every single day...not to mention the promised reward for finishing all of the lessons on the first CD by the end of the school year. 
6. I use sensory play/fine motor activities when I need a break....but it still counts as "school" time because his fine motor skills are being greatly improved. I use playdoh, the rice bin, piano time, ball squishing, and gymnastics to work on his fine/gross motor and sensory system. However, I can just let him direct the play and as long as he stays on task, I can kick back, relax, and drink some iced tea.
7. I can't WAIT until it is enrichment time during the week. I should really look at it as my son branching out and learning life, social, and educational skills in a different environment than home and learning how to be part of and fit into a larger group. I am not saying that all of that is not true, but when I am dropping him off at enrichment, all that I can think of is where I am going to go in my precious "kid-free" time. 
8. I sometimes allow my son to push off school in the morning because he is in a bad mood. I will make it up in the afternoon or evening (and sometimes even late at night if he is up), but I sometimes feel like he would be better served playing with his toys in the morning or watching an extra episode on the Disney channel than fighting with me on learning all morning. I really wish that I had a neat and organized little schedule that I could follow every day without fail, but that just isn't the way that he learns best. And, really, will he actually learn ANYTHING if I spend all morning getting frustrated with him?

So, for the scheduled, "finish the curriculum in its entirety" moms who I envy dearly, I say, hats off to you. And, also, "the grass is always greener" (or for you Disney fans, "the seaweed is always greener in somebody else's lake"). We're both doing amazing things for our kids and sometimes we need a break from that amazingness. My way is with hands-on activities or field trips and I automatically default to that. Your way is with seat work and you automatically default to that. BOTH of those ways are valuable learning tools for our children.